Hope
by Inu-midoriko
Summary: Because hope was all he had left. He sat by her unconscious form and allowed hope to flood him. Hope; for her return to him as the same old Wash she's always been. Post Season Finale! Fix Fic!
1. Hope

A/N: I couldn't resist this fix fic contribution. Because this is how I picture her coming back in season 2. If there is a season two. I hope so. If not that's totally cool. We can all live with the notion that she was _supposed _to die but didn't and end it there.

Anyways, I figure three chapters to be sufficient enough for this.

* * *

><p>There was something distinctly gratifying about knowing his son lost. There was something just so satisfying about knowing his treacherous flesh and blood hadn't been able to kill the one person he had left to think of as family. It was just so pleasing to stand here, beside her bed in the infirmary and know that despite Lucas' best efforts, not even he could take away his lieutenant.<p>

It'd been a month since his return to Terra Nova. The joy; relief at being informed of her still holding on in here had been enough to knock the breath right out of him. He remembered marching from the gates on his third day back into the infirmary, cursing the nurses for not informing him sooner. When he'd seen her unconscious form hooked up to a vital machine, he thought about getting on his knees and beg her to live. To keep fighting because he needed her.

Her face had been bruised black and blue, her nose broken. By the off set of her jaw, the blast from the stun gun had done a number on her. It was a wonder she wasn't reduced to a vegetable.

Now sitting with her looking at her fixed nose, healed jaw and slowly fading bruises, he couldn't help but smile at the image of her. Because she had fought, defied the enemy to the very end. She was his lieutenant. His ever loyal soldier- companion.

His fond smile faded like it had so many times before. If he'd been faster- if he'd just allowed her to come with him- she wouldn't be here, still on the brink of death. The gash in her head from impacting the pavement needed nothing more than the stitching spray. Psychically Dr. Shannon said she'd heal; be perfectly fine. Mentally… she had a ways to go. Her head had been jarred real bad. She'd been blasted at a close proximity and it messed with her neurological flow patterns.

It wasn't looking good, not from a soldier's point of view. If she was lucky- hell, if he was lucky- she'd wake up soon and just be off duty for a few months. But as he stared at her unflinching form, he knew it wasn't practical.

And he needed to be practical. Having false hope only got people hurt. His heart lurched. He knew his lieutenant hoped until the trigger was pulled that he'd come for her. Save her somehow.

God but he'd wanted to. So badly. He was prepared to go in and shoot them all down but Shannon- bless him- made him see reason. He stood by and watched helplessly as Lucas pulled the trigger; her head blow back and her body fall.

He'd only ever been heartbroken by a death one other time.

But she was alive. Found by a nurse and taken into the care of their system.

"Come on, Wash." he mutters. It was the first thing he'd said to her all month. Torn between wanting to utter promises, apologies and admonishment for her actions.

"Snap out of it." he said louder and immediately quieted himself. His eyes looked worn with worry, exhausted with holding onto the hope of her coming out of this and still being the same old Wash.

He gripped her hand. It was cold.

He held on tighter. "Push through it, lieutenant. Fight this." Perhaps if he ordered it she would listen.

The tiniest movement;, the tiniest twitch of her fingers in his had his eyes widening for a moment. _Yes. Come on, Alicia. You can't stay in there forever. _He thought. The commander took a seat close to her bed and held her hand in his.

He'd always heard of this one technique working to bring people back faster, or at least let them know for a little while that they weren't alone. Taylor had never done this kind of thing before. Had never once even entertained the notion. And yet despite his pride, this was something he knew had to do. For her. Because he couldn't be there for her _then_; but he was here _now_.

"You remember back in 2133 when we nearly got ran over by a mudslide on our way to ambush the enemy?" he grinned at the next thought. "You'd pulled me against the wall so fast I hit my head off the rocks. I remember being disoriented for a moment but kept moving when the slide past." he looked back at their joined hands. "I needed you then, like so many other times. And I need you now, Wash."

That was all he was able to permit himself to say. At least for now.

Another twitch.

Hope fluttered through his chest like a butterfly dead set on bursting out of him. It was something he knew he shouldn't grip a hold of, not now; but he did. He defied his better judgement and clutched onto his hope with an iron grip. Despite every bell, every warning in him that was soldier telling him to let go, he wouldn't. Couldn't.

Because hope was all he had.

Hope was what would get him and his people through this.

Hope is what would bring her back to him.


	2. Flex

A/N: I have faith that the TN writers and producers are going to fix their mistake if they get a season 2.

Nathaniel came to see her every day at the same time, same place. Sat in the same chair; looked at her with the same determined expression. Soon days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Three of them to be more precise. The colony was finally looking how it used to. The only thing to stand out were the scars in the ground from the blasts, the fire. Scars left on Terra Nova as a reminder that he wasn't invincible.

Commander Taylor was human with a determination driving him like no other. It made sure he saw things through and took back what was his with no room left for questions or doubt. The scars were a reminder to him of his failure but also his victory- they were battle wounds to be proud of. Because against all odds, despite it looking like they would lose- they rose out of the ashes with a plan so full of flaws and yet managed to pull it off regardless. They won their home back and for now, that was something Taylor could be happy about.

"Ready? One…Two… Three." the voice was Jim Shannon's. Today was no different from any other day he came to visit his lieutenant. Though he was usually alone when he came, and alone when he left.

"Good now hold her there for a few moments." the other was Elisabeth's. Taylor rounded the corner of the infirmary and raised a brow at his sheriff and doctor. "Sir, we're just moving the lieutenant around so she doesn't develop bedsores." she explained, when she noticed him, before they were both on the receiving end of a very protective commander's tongue lashing.

"Carry on." he replied, crossed his arms and watched them. Elisabeth held Alicia's head as she instructed her husband on what to do. Taylor was thankful for Elisabeth's care of Wash's head. Only because if the woman wasn't supporting the lieutenant, Jim would have given her whiplash with the force and speed in which he was manoeuvring her.

"Come on, Wash, easy now." Jim muttered, trying to be as careful as he could. In an effort to only touch her in places platonically acceptable, he moved his arm under her back and dropped her legs onto the bed.

"Careful, Jim." Elisabeth chastised and a firm look from his wife set Jim's jaw square. He nodded; Taylor saw it was an effort for him to compose himself but he'd managed it. They'd had her on either of her sides, her stomach and now most recently a sitting position. Nathaniel stepped further into the room and took Jim's position beside her. "I'll take it from here." he said and the two nodded.

Elisabeth took Jim's hand and guided him from the room. He was taking this hard as well. Although it had been unspoken, he shared the guilt; the heavy burden of knowing he could have done something to prevent her near death.

Taking Alicia into his arms, he laid her down gently onto her back, made sure her head rested on the pillow just so.

Taylor sat by her side and just watched her. The bruises on her face had long since faded, her nose and jaw had been realigned. It pleased him to see her looking like herself; like she hadn't been shot in the head. But her eyes… they didn't open. It was what he found himself wanting to see the most. He wanted to look into her bark brown depths and communicate with her in the way only they could understand. Silently.

Almost as much as wanting to see her eyes, he wanted to hear her voice. Nathaniel could close his eyes and hear her. Her voice was something he'd come to know as a soothing mechanism for when he thought too much and couldn't sleep. He'd close his eyes and see hers. Their colour coaxing him into a deep slumber.

"Hey, Wash." Nathaniel greeted. He took a deep breath and stared directly into her face. He no longer cared who heard him talk. Mostly everyone knew to stay away when he was having his moment with his dear friend, his most important family member. "Jim moved you around a bit so you wouldn't get bedsores." he chuckled softly. "If you were conscious and had witnessed his attempts..." his amusement was short lasting.

He leaned on his knees and took her hand like he did everyday and smoothed his fingers over her skin. Her hands were soft, so very delicate looking despite the calluses from years of working hands on.

A strand of hair fell into her eyes and he reached up, flicked it away. Her brow furrowed. Nathaniel held his breath. "Come on, Wash. Open them…" he muttered.

As soon as the action was there, it was gone. The hope in his chest so strong, faded into a dull ache once more. Doc said it was progress. Nathaniel thought it was her way of pacifying his impatience.

He sighed, exhaling through his nose and pressed his forehead against her hand.

Nathaniel needed to tell her a story. It was an urge in him he'd gotten more and more over the course of a few weeks. "All right, I haven't given you a story in a few days so here goes." his head came up but he didn't look into her face. Instead, he looked at the wall and back down at his hand in hers. Strange, how giant his seemed compared to hers. Rough and worn while hers were soft and smooth. "There once was a General. Thought he had the best team money could buy. Outshone every other squad, came and went on recon missions successfully each and every time. One day a mistake was made and two squads were sent out at the same time. The mistake made them all an easier target with the enemy. More people to go out meant more people to target and shoot down out in the field." he paused and chanced a hopeful glance at her. Alicia's eyes remained closed; he looked back down at her hand. "Despite the General knowing he shouldn't have gone out- should have let the other team go out for this one- he took his team anyway and stayed as far away from the other as possible. But that wasn't good enough. The enemy spotted them and attacked. Both sides put up a hell of a fight but a bullet managed to hit the General in his chest. It was at an odd angle that made it not fatal but still hurt like a bitch. He lost too much blood and soon became dizzy and light headed. Before he fell unconscious, a field medic from the other recon team risked their hide to drag the General's sorry ass for cover. The medic took out the bullet, stopped the bleeding and stitched him up right there in the middle of the battlefield." he smiled fondly. "From that day forward the General insisted on the field medic's transfer to his team. Refusal from both the medic and her team leader faced him continuously but the man was stubborn; didn't give up. Because he knew that this field medic was special. Talented. Eventually, after months of requests, the medic was transferred. From that day on, the General had no regrets. They fought side by side, moved up in ranks one after the other. They were sent to a wonderful place to start a new world, a second chance for the human race. Now more than ever, that General wants his field medic to come back to him, because as much as he could survive this world; he'd rather not do it alone. He'd rather have you by his side."

He didn't look up. He'd seen the same thing he had for months. Closed eyes, closed mouth. Taylor sighed, getting ready to leave. He had a recon unit to put together and soldiers to dispatch for afternoon patrol.

And then he felt it.

Nathaniel's head shot to her hand. Her fingers were flexing against his, wanting to squeeze but not having the strength. His eyes immediately flew to her face, his heart beating a mile a minute for the second it took for him to look at her face. His jaw clenched and disappointment set it. Still nothing. But he looked down at her fingers. They were still flexed against his.

Nathaniel stayed where he was and flexed his fingers, mimicking the squeezing motion to let her know he could feel her attempt. "I'll wait, Alicia. As long as it takes."


	3. Whisper

A/N: So… I lied. There's going to be one more chapter after this :D Also, in the words of Simone Kessell herself, 'Wash is rockin' somewhere and looking fine. Fret not.' :D Therefore if we get a season two, I'm now convinced she's alive :D! Yay for us and bombarding her with so much love she needed to soothe our worries and sadness!

A week had gone by since Wash had shown signs of being able to hear him. Today made it month number four. Each day he told her story about the two of them either from the war in Somalia or from when she got transferred to Terra Nova- and each time he did- she would flex her fingers. It gave him an incredible sense of hope each time.

Today was no different. He told her the story of when Ayani and her first met. Wash had been polite with few words. Taylor knew she wasn't generally a woman of few words around the people she knew and it struck him as kind of charming to know that his most outspoken, temperamental soldier had a shy side. Of course, he'd never exploit it or inform Alicia that he knew her secret. Over time the two women had gotten to know one another; had became confidants, friends. It pleased him to no end that his most trusted recruit and love of his life got along like bread and butter.

Now with Alicia on her back, still unconscious, he told her this. He told her many things he wouldn't dream of telling anyone at all. It was satisfying to get some of it off his chest. Especially since with half of it he could see her reactions as clear as if she were making them herself. She would grin; allow the tiniest upturn of her lips to show her amusement and then comment. Other times he wouldn't know her reactions and it only made him more determined to keep holding into the hope of her returning. He would tell her this again and gauge her reaction, catalogue it and store it in his mind until the end of his days.

Nathaniel never knew how much she actually meant to him before this. He knew he cared for her deeply but over these most recent events he found himself figuring out that it was more than that. His emotions ran deep, far deeper than he ever would have imagined for this woman. Nathaniel would say they were as strong- if not more- as what his feelings were for Ayani. The knowledge unnerved him, terrified him. But he was a soldier. A commander. He could handle something as trivial as feelings. But they weren't so trivial; they were important. So very, very important. And he needed her to come to so she could be his sounding board and help him through it like she had so many other things before this.

"Sir," he was pulled from his thoughts by Dr. Shannon. Zoe was at her mom's legs, looking at Wash, a frown on her face as if this couldn't actually be her. She was supposed to be dead and yet here she was, on a bed in her mother's infirmary.

"Morning," he greeted. "come to visit Wash?" he asked the five year old and she finally looked to him, smiled a little and nodded. "Here." he got up from the chair and allowed Zoe to sit in it. On a normal day, he would be starting to leave to return to work but today felt different. Perhaps it was the fact Zoe had been finally permitted to see Alicia without her bruises.

Zoe sat in the seat stiffly, not really knowing what to do and yet the determination set in her features reminded him much of both her parents. "You can talk to her, Zoe. Alicia can hear you." Elisabeth said and stood not far behind her daughter. She gave her space, privacy to say what she wanted but stayed close.

"What should I say?" asked the smallest Shannon.

Elisabeth looked to Nathaniel and he smiled a little, their moment by the fire at their camp not lost or forgotten by him. "Anything you think she'll appreciate hearing."

A small frown of thought marred her features. She took a deep breath and leaned onto the bed. "Good morning, lieutenant Washington, it's Zoe Shannon. I'm really glad you're going to be okay. My dad says that you'll wake up soon and be able to kick his butt. Don't hurt him too bad, he's been really sad lately." the girl continued with Taylor looking on fondly.

"How are you holding up?" Elisabeth asked. The question turned his attention to her for a moment. He shrugged.

"Can't complain. Not dead."

The doctor gave him a stern look. "You know what I mean."

"She's alive. I can't ask for more than that right now."

"But it's still hard." he looked away, his jaw clenching. Of course it was damned hard. He made her stay behind specifically so she wouldn't be in danger and it backfired.

"I told Commander Taylor you taught me how to make a fire and know which direction is north. He said you taught me well." Zoe lowered her voice into a whisper but they could still hear her. "He was really sad, so I gave him a hug. I think he'd like one from you too so you have to wake up soon, okay?"

Taylor shifted and Elisabeth smiled at him in apology for Zoe obliviously telling other's of his remorse. "Come on, Zoe. It's time to go back to school." The girl looked to her mom and nodded. "I have to go to school now but I'll come back as often as I can." For a moment, she hesitated, and then went for it. The little girl wrapped her arms around Alicia for a few moments. "Wake up soon, the commander misses you too." she whispered and pulled away. Zoe smiled at Nathaniel a moment before taking her mother's hand.

"Have a good day, Miss Zoe." he said and took his seat back.

"You too, sir."

The older man turned his attention to Wash. "The kid's spilling all my secrets." he chuckled and took her hand like he had so many other times before. It was routine, normal. No one questioned and he didn't have to answer for it.

"All right, Wash, I have to go; but I'll be back later. I thought of a story you'd appreciate. Perhaps maybe even make you laugh a little wherever your mind is." He stood, placed her hand beside her body and slid his hand out of hers. He turned his back and made it three steps.

Nathaniel paused; all movement halting in a single motion. He wasn't sure what made him turn around- what felt different about him leaving- but an incredible urge to turn around struck inside him and he found himself not resisting it. He turned back to Wash, the woman on this bed.

The woman looking at him with those incredible brown eyes. His heart stopped, his breath left him.

"Wash…" he breathed out. He was by her side instantly, leaning over her with a wary smile. He hoped with all his being that she really was conscious and this wasn't a trick of the mind. Her eyes followed him, they were heavy lidded, glazed for a moment. She was disoriented and confused but he took her hand once more and revelled in her instantly gripping him back. Trusting him even in her incomprehensible state.

A smile spread over his lips. His field medic was back.

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! Final chapter will be out sometime after Christmas! I'm hoping before the New Year J!


	4. Memory

A/N: I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Here's the last chapter ^.^! Enjoy!

Alicia stared blankly at him as spoke with Elisabeth over his comm. "She's awake, doc. Come back as soon as you can."

He put it down on the table, not waiting for a response, but his eyes never left hers. This is what he spent four months waiting for. Nathaniel's blue eyes roved over her dark ones- taking in their colour- never letting the image leave him. He wanted to say- wanted to ask her so many things and yet came up with a blank on how to articulate it to her. It was mystifying how she looked at him. Like she knew who he was, but couldn't put a name to his face.

"Nathaniel. Nathaniel Taylor." he supplied and would be a liar if he said that it stung a little to be forgotten. Blast or not, the recognition of the name in her gaze was unmistakable. Minutes passed with Taylor watching her look about the room. She knew where she was, but couldn't remember why. It was written all over her expression.

"I came as soon…" Jim Shannon rounded the corner, huffing and puffing from having run there. He caught his breath before he continued and locked gazes with Alicia. He smiled. "as Elisabeth told me."

"Not…having a baby..." Alicia managed to ground out. Her voice cracked from it's lack of usage and she cleared her throat. Elisabeth strode in at that moment, a sheen of sweat on her forehead to suggest that she had also made haste to return.

Her eyes scanned the vital screen to make sure everything was working properly and smile down at Alicia. "Hello there, lieutenant. You've been unconscious for a while so talking might be a little difficult for a bit."

Alicia frowned, confused and trying to process what the doctor had just said. "How long?" her voice didn't sound like her but Taylor couldn't care. He continued to watch her, gauge her reactions, her every fleeting expression.

"Four months today."

Alicia made a humming sound in the back of her throat. It was cut off midway for a crack to come through and she cleared her throat. Elisabeth reached for a cup on the table beside her bed filled with water. She pressed the cup to Alicia's lips.

The woman on the bed frowned, tried to lift her arms to do it herself but found the feeling in her limbs too heavy. Reluctantly, she opened her mouth and allowed Doctor Shannon to give her water.

"Okay," Elisabeth said, taking the cup back when Alicia drank it's contents and set it aside. Taylor and Jim stood on either side of her, taking her in. Finding that they missed her more than they let on. "I'm going to ask you a few standard questions to see what percentage to brain recovery you're at, all right?" When Alicia nodded, doc smiled. "Can you tell me your name?"

She was still a moment, searching for a name. "Wash…" she closed her eyes, knowing the name was familiar, significant. "Alicia Wash…ington." she ended. Nathaniel didn't miss the flash of triumph in her gaze at remembering her identity.

"Very good. Can you tell me who these men are?" Alicia looked to Jim first, a small grin playing her lips.

"Shannon. Jim Shannon." Jim smiled, squeezed her shoulder and put his arm around Elisabeth. "You're Elisabeth." the doctor smiled even wider, pleased to be remembered. Finally Alicia's eyes strayed to Taylor. He still had her hand; he held his breath.

"You've already told me who you are, Nathaniel, sir." it was clear by her slight frown she hadn't meant to put 'sir' at the end of her sentence but years of saying it forced it's way out of habit.

"You'll remember more in time," Elisabeth said and glanced from her leader to Alicia. "What's the last thing you remember?"

At this, she had to think hard; had to close her eyes and play everything back a moment. "It's a blur. I remember asking to come with you," her eyes widened as memories flooded her and she looked at Taylor. She remembered him. "and I remember fighting off an army and losing." at this she closed her eyes, remorse and self persecution written all over her face.

"Hey, hey, hey, Wash. Stay with us in the here and now. You couldn't have done anything more to prevent the ambush from happening." Jim intercepted and had her eyes open. The shame making her clench her jaw and avoid her CO's gaze.

"Right. You did everything you could and more. What else can you tell me?" Elisabeth's voice was calm, soothing. Managed to bring Alicia out of herself for a moment to concentrate.

"I remember the Phoenix soldiers being a pain in my ass." Jim snorted. That put it very lightly. "We had a plan… but it backfired somehow and…" her eyes widened impossibly. "Lucas…we won?" she remembered.

Nathaniel put a hand to her cheek, capturing her attention. "Damn right we won." Taylor replied with a small smile. "The blast wasn't fatal."

Alicia took a deep breath, unshed tears stinging her eyes. The emotions; the memories. They came back to her in a flood of pressure against her skull. It was almost too much to take in but she revelled in it. Alicia needed to remember everything. "Your kids, are they…?"

Jim took her other free hand and squeezed, "They're safe. Because of you."

Alicia smiled a little, glad that her almost sacrifice hadn't been in vain. Taylor took a deep breath and resumed the seat he was in half an hour ago.

"I'll be back a little later to check your progress." Elisabeth put a hand on her arm for a moment, letting the woman on the bed know she was eternally grateful towards her. Jim took it a step further and leaned his body down. His arms encircled the woman. "Glad to have you back, Wash."

Alicia remained immobile but smiled a moment regardless. The married couple left moments after, allowing the commander to have his moment with her. "I should have let you come with me." he said to her and when her eyes locked onto his, his thoughts paused. She was smiling at him.

"Don't say you're sorry. You did what you needed. I'd do it again given the chance." she said and flexed her fingers. "Your field medic's back. That's something right?" she asked, momentarily looking down at their joined hands. When she looked back up, Taylor was smiling down at her.

"You heard?"

"Everything."

"You always had incredible hearing."

"You're not exactly a quiet talker." she teased him, a good sign that she was on her way to a successful recovery.

"Missed you, Wash." he said, all humour dying.

"I wasn't gone long."

"Long enough." he replied, leaning his elbows on his knees as he watched her. "Don't…" he cut himself off, knowing he couldn't tell her what not to do. Especially self sacrifice. She was a soldier, it was what they did. It was ultimately their duty to willingly give up their lives for the greater good.

"Next time I'll think of something less tragic." she said and smiled a moment. He grinned at her. She had no idea how close to home that one word rang true.

"When you recover from this," he said, indicating the infirmary and her lack of ability to move. "I'd like to show you something OTG."

"What is it?" she asked, a small smile playing at her lips. A yawn escaped her lips, her eyes grew heavy.

"A view. It reminds me of you." he cocked his head to the side slightly, watching her fight to remain awake. "Don't sleep too long."

"I'm not tired." and yet, just like a child would protest and lose, her eyes drifted closed. He wasn't fond of it, but he knew she mentally exhausted herself.

This time was different. It looked and felt like she was merely sleeping. To be sure, he nudged her shoulder. "Wash?"

"What?" she asked groggily.

"Nothing." he grinned as she smirked at his paranoia. He leaned over her body and planted a soft kiss to her forehead. "See you when you wake up."

And he sat back down, watching her intently. Each time she stirred or made a small sound in her slumber, it reassured him that she was only sleeping; that in a couple hours she would awaken once again.

After an hour of watching her he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Alicia frowned, eyes remaining closed. "Commander?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"I can feel you staring." and her eyes opened. Those wonderful brown iris staring into his with amusement.

"Force of habit." he returned and she snorted. "Does it bother you?"

"No."

"Good." he replied. Because he was going to be doing a lot more staring until he felt she was one hundred and fifty percent herself again.

Mark Reynolds came around the corner at that moment. His expression melted from anticipation to over joy at seeing her finally awake. "Alicia- Lieutenant-"

"At ease, Reynolds." Taylor said, chuckling and stood. "I'll leave you two to talk for a while. I'll be back." his legs needed stretching but the promise of his return bore into her when his eyes found hers.

She nodded, believing him; forgiving him for not coming back before.

Mark put his firearm down and sat in the chair Taylor left. He listened to their voices until he was out of ear shot. He walked away to grab himself something to eat from the market because once he returned, he planned on staying with her until she kicked him out.

This woman was his undoing and he cursed himself for it. Never again would he allow her to put herself in that situation. She had more courage than most people he knew and for that, he was proud.

He thought about the view he wanted to show her. It wasn't far from the colony; it was on top of a big cliff- lush with grass, fresh soil and a large rock big enough to sit on. When the sun rose, it was a sight to behold. Hues of yellow, pink and orange spread over the sky. It reminded him of her. It was openly beautiful, striking as it rose. Fearless in baring itself to whoever was watching; unashamed of what it was.

If there was a next time, he would make sure she stayed by his side like he should have the first round. Like he had every other time. Never again would be leave her. Never again would he hesitate to save her. Never again would he hide what he felt for her.

They got to live once; and he'd be damned if he let her escape him once more.

Fin.


End file.
